After taking off on a United Airlines flight, I was immersed in my book when I thought I heard sniffling coming from the twenty-year old sitting next to me. Since I had just gotten over the worst of a head cold the previous day, I assumed the young lady was struggling with similar symptoms. A few minutes later, however, I realized that she was crying. Cocooning herself away from everyone and facing the window, she was trying, in vain, to wipe away her tears. I thought it best to let her be. She obviously wanted to be alone and was probably hoping no one would notice. I certainly didn’t want to embarrass her!

As I tried to focus on my book, however, my thoughts mingled with the words on the page. I wondered if there was something I could do or say to ease her situation, whatever it was. My mind told me to mind my own business, while my heart told me to reach out. My mind told me I was an unknown, a stranger to her, and that she would merely reject any offers for help anyway. My heart said, “ Perhaps I could ease her burden …even just a bit?”

I had been journaling lately about how unnecessary it is that we seem to live in a world full of strangers. Aren’t we all desperately seeking connection? Yet we pass within two feet of each other, and look away without even the slightest acknowledgement. As a whole, don’t we pretty much ignore people we don’t know? We’ve discounted the fact that we can make a difference and have become oblivious to one another.

My heart overruled my head, as her sniffling turned to quiet sobs. Gently I placed my hand on her arm and leaned forward. She turned and looked at me, tears streaming down her face. “Would it help to talk to a stranger about it?” I asked. “You’ll never see me again, so it would be pretty safe…???”

She looked at me a bit sheepishly and, trying unsuccessfully for a smile, she said, “It’s nothing terribly serious; I’ve just left my parents to go back to college and I already miss them so much!” “Ah…you’re homesick. Are you a freshmen?” I asked. “No,” she answered as she tried smiling again through her tears… “a sophomore, but it’s still so difficult to leave them!”   “Well,” I smiled, “the good news is that you are well loved and you know it in your heart. Still, it’s a pretty horrible feeling to be separated from people you love so much, isn’t it?”

I dug in my pocketbook and pulled out a wad of Kleenex I had stashed there in case my nose started running again. Since I hadn’t needed them, I figured they would be better put to use by offering them to her. She gratefully accepted, and our short exchange seemed to have subdued the waterworks for the time being. She didn’t seem to have anything further to say, and by silent, mutual understanding, she returned to her musings and I to my book.

It wasn’t an exchange of monumental proportions, but as I look back on it, I realize that I had taken the opportunity to overcome my learned indifference. At our core, I believe we all really care, but we’ve learned to be indifferent towards those we don’t yet know. We’ve learned to “mind our own business,” to “not get involved,” and as a result, we live in such isolation in a world six billion people strong! It has been said that so many people go to bed each night hungry……some for food, many more for mere acknowledgement.

I’ve often thought how, as individuals, we all need and want pretty much the same basic things: love, acceptance and acknowledgement, but because we’re afraid of being vulnerable, we keep to ourselves. Our fear of rejection prevents us from stepping out and offering the best of ourselves to others, beyond our personal family and friends. I wonder… what kind of change could we affect if we treated everyone we encounter in our daily rounds with the same warmth and consideration we give to those in our personal circle… A paraphrase of Gandhi’s sentiment rings true in my heart: “Be the change you wish to see in the world!”

~Zanne

InSearchOfAuthenticity.com

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