The Sunday following Thanksgiving 2018 was so joyous!  Jan treated my husband and me, along with another couple, to an evening at the Philharmonic where we enjoyed a spectacular Christmas performance by Mannheim Steamroller!  Jan kept us laughing and created such a sense of levity and celebration.  We all agreed it was a fitting way to usher in the holiday season.

We became very concerned when she texted us the following Thursday afternoon, saying she would love for us to come visit her in the hospital.  She had just had an MRI and would be staying overnight.

She was thrilled to see us when we arrived that evening.  Her good humor was evident as she joked with the nurses. She was already on a first name basis with the entire staff and exuded a warmth toward them like they had been longtime friends.  What a gift, I reflected to myself…to be able to create community wherever she goes and elicit goodwill by first extending it!  She is such an inspiration!

Once the nurses left her room, we asked her about the MRI and hospitalization.  

“The MRI indicates that I have three brain tumors,” she said.  “The good news is that the cancer has not spread throughout my body.  The bad news is that until they know what kind it is, they can’t treat me, so they have to drill three holes in my head to find out.  At 67, I don’t need more of those,” she joked. 

“Oh my gosh, Jan, I am so sorry!  When is this scheduled for?” I asked.

“Tonight or tomorrow morning.  This is the last of this hair you’ll see for awhile.  They’ll be coming in to shave it off shortly.”

“Oh Jan!  I am so sorry!” I felt so dejected.

“Don’t worry, I’m not afraid,” she said as she met my eyes with a calm as peaceful as it was genuine.

We walked up and down the hallway a couple of times before she grew weary and said so.

Before leaving, I promised I’d be back the next day as she requested, even though I highly doubted I’d be let into her room so soon after her surgery.  Even so, I wanted to be there to see for myself that she was okay after such an ordeal.

Imagine my surprise the following afternoon when I walked into her crowded room and saw her still in possession of her hair and looking mighty good!  Smiling and laughing as usual, she lit up when I walked in as she said, “Hi there!  I’m so glad you’re here!  Let me introduce you to my family!”

After the introductions, I turned to her and said, “Well!  You certainly look way better than I expected to find you!”

She answered my question before I could give it voice.  “It’s not good news,” she started.  My family has come to take me home to Indiana, where I can be near them and get complete care.”

Her daughter put her arm around her and mumbled something about keeping her comfortable…  My brain reverberated with the same shock as that of a speeding car into a brick wall as I tried to make sense of what I was hearing.

With a heavy heart, I knew when I left the hospital that Friday, that it was the last time I would see our dear, sweet Jan.   Glioblastoma was the diagnosis. She passed on New Year’s day, just a few days more than a month after diagnosis.

Every so often we have the good fortune of having an extraordinary human being enter our lives; someone who has a positive impact on us.  Jan was one of those people.  She was an inspiration in my life.  Her sense of humor and good nature were infectious.  Her very being lit up any room she walked into.  She had developed in herself, the virtues of kindness, generosity, understanding and forgiveness.

Life is precious, and we can never take it for granted.  Losing this friend as quickly as we did causes me to ask myself, “Is what I’m currently doing how I want to be living my life?”  Is this the best use of what time I have left?”  

Thank you, Jan for the gift of your life, love and example.  You’ve been a beacon of light in my life.  

~Zanne
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