I remember as a young girl of eleven or twelve, wondering what made the ‘mean’ girl tick.  What made her that way?  Even back then, I had a rudimentary understanding that we are more alike than we are different.  

I created a scenario in my mind of the two of us getting stuck on an elevator, between floors with people frantically working to save us.  I imagined that our solitude combined with a mega-dose of fear would compel us to drop our respective facades and be real with one another, sharing our fears, hopes and dreams should we be lucky enough to escape unharmed.  I imagined that this realness would reveal our true nature… that we would end up actually liking each other and, ultimately, becoming good friends.  

I am reminded of the quote from Brené Brown:

“Being vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”  

Some part of me, even at a very young age, recognized the huge benefit of  being vulnerable, though it would be a couple decades before I would dare to give myself permission to live that way.  Until the battle between authenticity and the need for the good opinions of others was finally put to rest, my façade was firmly in place, despite the discomfort caused by trying so hard to fit in.  

Over the years, I’ve mentally taken this “elevator test” with various individuals that I have felt at odds with.  It never fails to remind me that if I’m willing to put aside, even temporarily, issues I have with someone, I am more likely to find common ground with them than not. It helps me to see their humanity.  When I do that, how can my heart not go out to them?!? They are, after all, just like me!!  They just desire to be seen, heard and validated.  We truly are more alike than we are different…

~SuZanne
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