“You should be happy with what you have.” 

 “Be grateful!” 

“Count your blessings.”

These are but a few of the admonishments/advice I received as a child when I wanted something more.  I can understand the sentiment behind it; being grateful in all things is of utmost importance to a joyful life.  However, 

I interpreted those messages as a statement that I was being ungrateful if I wanted anything more.  I think it’s quite likely that the adults in my life simply wanted to make sure I didn’t turn out to be a spoiled brat that just wanted-wanted-wanted always more.

As an adult, I’ve grappled to readjust my view of what it means to want more.  In talking with friends, we admit to feelings of ungratefulness for what we already have when we voice displeasure about something we feel is missing in our lives.  In pondering this further, however, I’ve come to an understanding that it’s equally important to acknowledge our unmet desires.  Doing so, does not in any way diminish our gratitude for the things that are good in our lives.  Rather, it gives us a point of focus on something we’d like to change or work toward.  Life is all about change and we are creatures of growth, yet, at the same time, we tend to resist change because it can be scary, especially if we’re unsure how to approach it. 

My way of approaching a change I want to make is to read as much good information as I can about the topic, then find someone who is already good at the skill I want to incorporate and pick their brain.  So much of what we go through in life boils down to the way we think about it and what we believe about ourselves.  I believe we all have the ability to learn whatever skill we want to learn if we want it badly enough and are willing to invest the time and energy, then commit to doing the work to acquire it. 

The way I see it, If I stop wanting more and better, I stop growing because having more and better necessarily means that “I” must be more and better.  It means that I must develop a skill to the next level or even learn a new skill altogether.  It requires me to question my own thinking, like my beliefs about my abilities.  Once I’ve done that, I’ll never be the same again. I’ll be a new, more advance version of myself.

For example, I’ve always considered myself technically challenged.  It’s a self-imposed label that I’ve believed for a long time.  If I’m honest, though, I’m not interested enough in the topic to engage myself for the period of time I perceive it would take.  I want to know it without putting in the time and effort to master it.  It’s just easier to consider myself incapable.  This kind of thinking has hindered my progress in areas where it would be highly advantageous to have mastered technology. It can be hard to call BS on myself because now, I no longer have the excuse that learning technology is beyond me.  It’s now a matter of choice; do I want to or don’t I… rather than I can’t.

I believe ‘wanting more/better’ is built into the human psyche/heart.  It is, in the end, what pushes me to work toward becoming a more highly evolved version of myself.

~SuZanne
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