Several years ago, I stood at the jewelry counter of a large chain department store in Florida waiting to return two pieces of gold jewelry I had bought in their New Hampshire store a couple days before. When the sales clerk at the New Hampshire store realized I wanted my husband’s input on my selection, she recommended I buy all three and simply return the two I chose not to keep. I felt a bit uncomfortable doing so because I hate returning things, and it would be to a different store location, but she assured me it would absolutely be no problem at all. In the end I decided it was the almost-perfect solution.

My discomfort at returning not one, but two pieces of jewelry must have come through in my demeanor.   When I explained to the clerk what I was there to do, her abrupt movements coupled with the sigh that escaped her lips let me know she was not too pleased. I felt myself shrinking inside, and wishing I had not followed the advice of the clerk in New Hampshire. I couldn’t wait for the ordeal to be over!

To this day, I don’t know what inspired my moment of clarity. All of a sudden, I realized that she was the clerk and I was the “valued” customer. I was not doing anything wrong and I should be treated in a more respectful manner. At the same time, I understood that the way I had communicated to her affected the way she was treating me. I decided to change the situation and turn my discomfort into an experiment and a learning experience by plowing through my feelings of low self-worth in that moment.

I straightened up, took a deep breath and plunged in. “Excuse me, I was told I could easily return these pieces at another location, but it seems to me that there actually is a problem with that. If I’ve been misinformed, I’d be happy to speak with someone else…the manager, perhaps?”

Her head whipped up, “Oh no, there’s no problem, I can take these back,” the words tumbled out.

“Oh… well, it didn’t appear to be okay.”

“It’s just that with these extra pieces, I’m going to reflect a higher inventory and it’s going to affect my numbers… “ the last vestiges of her frustration being spent, in that statement.   Thinking better of it, she added, “but, no worries, it’s not a problem.”

The transaction was completed in a very different tone than it had originally started. I walked away having gotten way more than my money back. I learned a valuable lesson that day about the truth in the saying, “We teach people how to treat us.” If I had not spoken up for myself, I would have continued to be treated poorly simply because the clerk had her eye on the bottom line rather than customer service. I merely reminded her of where her attention ought to be and how I expected to be treated. In the process, I got an up-close-and-personal lesson about the power we hold in how we are treated by others in all our interactions.

~Zanne

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