When I was young, I was deathly afraid of using the phone. I found all kinds of creative ways to avoid using it. In my high school years, I would even ask my mother to make an appointment with the dentist for me. Of course, for this to be effective, I would make the request over my shoulder as I was rushing out the door, giving the impression that I didn’t have the time to do it myself. It worked! Later on, if I wanted to follow up on a job interview, I wouldn’t call but rather I’d go in person. I knew I made a much better impression in person than on the phone, where I stuttered and flailed in thought and word. I didn’t know why I had this phone-phobia, but I was somewhat aware that I had one. Knowing something and having the desire to work on it, though, are two very different things.

Finally, as an adult, I contemplated taking on a sales position. I knew that meant using that dastardly contraption. Ugh! Not without trepidation, I decided, that if other people could do this, I could learn. It was torturous in the beginning. I walked around that phone, eyeing it with suspicion, making all kinds of excuses why it wasn’t the ‘right time’ to be phoning. Ultimately, if I wanted to be successful not only in this career, but in life, I knew I had to face my fear. I worked at it and started to crack it open by asking myself, “What is it that makes my heartbeat race and my palms sweat when I even think of picking up the phone?”

What I discovered was my erroneous belief that the person on the other end, regardless of who it might be, was more important and smarter than I was. Feeling inferior put me at a huge disadvantage even before I heard a ‘hello!’ When I was able to redefine, in my psyche, the person on the other end as a friend rather than a formidable foe, I was able to move forward. I was not an overnight success, but like anything else that is practiced and perfected, I made slow and steady progress.

Now, no matter whom I am calling, I assume the person will be warm and friendly and will want to help me. That isn’t always the case, but because I’ve had so much practice and can express myself clearly, I no longer fear getting a negative response. I am confident that I can work my way through any situation in which I find myself.

It continues to amaze me how much our individual lives are defined by what is going on in our minds. It doesn’t even matter whether it is real, true or imagined! The power our thoughts hold over us makes me realize how vigilant I must be in questioning myself with regularity. We’ve all heard “Don’t believe everything you hear,” and “Don’t believe everything you read.” To that I add, “Don’t believe everything you think.”

~Zanne

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