After finding out I needed an MRI, I talked with a friend who had one a few years ago. She assured me there was no need to worry. Her calming influence put my mind at ease and my spirit at peace. I asked if she would be willing to accompany me and wait while I had the test done. I sensed that having her there would provide the calmness I needed.
“Yes!” was her immediate reply. She later texted saying she was so happy I had asked her! And here I was, feeling uneasy about taking up her time for something I told myself I ought to be strong enough to do on my own. Yet her reply conveyed genuine joy at being able to help me!
This led me to examine my views on giving and receiving. I recalled the old adage, “It’s better to give than to receive.” But is this really true? Is it possible that when I refuse help or refuse to even ask, I may be denying both of us a blessing?
I needed to ponder that thought for a while because being on the receiving end can cause me a measure of discomfort. I discovered a belief that dictates it is more desirable to be independent. Moreover, asking for help with something I can do by myself is not only an imposition on others but borders on selfishness. Does this belief serve me well? And is this a belief I want to hold onto, I asked myself?? Probably not!!
Like most people, I have a need to be self-sufficient, which I see as good and healthy… to an extent. However, when a real need arises, be it physical or emotional, can I overcome my opposing need for independence? Can I allow myself to receive with an open heart? I discovered that when I do, I receive not only the help I need, but I am also graced with the accompanying love bestowed upon me by the giver. Receiving is indeed a blessing!
My friend helped crack open the door to a new way of thinking and being. Because I sensed her genuine pleasure, the fog lifted and I saw more clearly that what she offered by being there with me, was not just her time, but the gift of her care, her concern and most precious of all… the gift of herself.
~Zanne
InSearchOfAuthenticity.com
© 2017 Zanne
In Search of Authenticity 
Sue,
Our son’s mother-in-law and I have become fast, close friends. Early on, she taught our very “independent”-minded son, who is always very willing to help while rebuffing any attempt at reciprocation, that he needed to practice gracious receiving as often as his generosity. That quickly spread seamlessly into the nooks and crannies of our family, eliminating unnecessary discord. She is a wise woman whom I have quickly come to regard as a special gift to us. We remind one another how blessed we continue to be that her daughter and my son have brought us together.
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How wonderful, Madeleine! How blessed you both are! I embrace the term “gracious receiving.” So succinct yet all encompassing. Thank you for sharing such wisdom!
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I continue to struggle with the same! I have to remind myself of how I feel when I am helping someone else – the fulfillment of having something to offer. When I need to ask for help or when help is offered, I am giving someone else the opportunity to feel the same. But the strugle is real!!!!!
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Ah.. I hadn’t quite put my finger on the fact that one reason we feel good when we do for others because it validates that we have something to offer. Thanks, Annette, for that insight!
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