With Halloween upon us, I find myself reminiscing on Halloweens past and an incident that happened so long ago.

Because we lived in a sizeable, safe, family-friendly neighborhood, carloads of parents with children poured in from around our town, neighboring towns, and even from across the border of a nearby state! Word got out and every year the number of little visitors increased. We were treating upwards of 350 ghosts, goblins, wizards and witches each Halloween.

Having started my own small business the previous year, I decided a great way to get the word out was to include my business card with every treat I handed out.

On this particular night, I knew we had come to the close of another successful Halloween when my doorbell stopped ringing before we ran out of candy.  It was 8:00 p.m. and the trick-or-treaters were being hustled home to explore, trade, and consume their spoils before being ushered off to bed.

As we prepared our own three children, the routine was interrupted when the phone rang.  Imagine my surprise when, upon answering, the caller started hurling accusations at me.  I was so taken aback, my mind couldn’t register what he was saying.

“Excuse me?!  I don’t understand what you think I’ve done,” I replied.

“You have ruined my daughter’s experience of Halloween!”

“I have??”

“By commercializing it!” he yelled.

“Commercializing it?” I repeated.

“Yes!  Your business card did not belong in there!  You ruined her Halloween!”

“How old is your daughter?” I inquired, as I struggled to make sense of what I was hearing.

“Two!”  he answered.

“I’m terribly sorry you feel that way; that was not my intention.”

Not knowing where to go with an apology and no argument, he hung up!

This happened over twenty-five years ago and I can’t help but wonder how that man’s life and the life of his daughter turned out. The incident reinforces my belief of the inherent power in the meaning we assign to life events.  While we can’t always control what happens, we certainly can consciously shape the meaning we give it and our response once we become aware that this power lies within us.  Our outlook creates our reality.  It also impacts those close to us as well as everyone we interact with.

If, and that’s a big ‘if’, this man’s two-year old daughter was aware enough to have her Halloween ruined by a business card in her bag, it was her father’s actions following the discovery of that card that negatively affected her, not the actual card.  Had he merely tossed it in the trash can, that would have been the end of it.  His inflamed response is what caused distress to that family…and it didn’t exactly make my day either.

I now understand that people see life situations through their own lens.  Whether factual or not, it becomes their experience.  It does not, however, have to become mine.  Furthermore, most confrontations have more to do with the aggressor than anyone else.  It is my choice whether or not to enter into their dramatic scenario.  Knowing this helps me put such events in perspective and move on.

~Zanne

InSearchOfAuthenticity.com

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