I’ve noticed that those who are dealing the best with this pandemic are those who don’t singularly focus on their losses and what they can no longer do but who quickly pivot and find those things they CAN do and get about the business of doing them. Without a doubt, there are individuals and families who find themselves in very difficult circumstances, often feeling overwhelmed, and struggling to stay afloat.  I feel great compassion toward those who find themselves in such dire straits.  

That being said, I can’t think of a single one that wouldn’t be improved by acceptance and an eye toward what CAN be done.  I’ve noticed that my wishing things were different does not usually change anything.  

Of course, it’s always a good thing to ask, “Can I change it or any aspect of it?”  If I can’t change it, then it seems to me that the only aspect I can change is how I internalize it -my frame of reference.  Because I get to choose the quality of my perspective, in effect, I get to choose how I feel, which, in turn, affects my response.  Maybe it’s because I don’t like feeling helpless, but this is the process I go through whenever faced with unpleasant situations. First:  What can I do about it/change it. Once I’ve exhausted those possibilities, Second: accept it quickly.  Third, reframe the situation to my advantage, and finally, look for what can be learned from it.

A door that has been nailed shut will not be reopened by sitting, staring at it and bemoaning how much I don’t like it or how unfair it is that the door has been blocked.  Yet that’s exactly what we do when we refuse to accept what is.  The resistance is where the pain comes in. It’s wishing that things weren’t so.  That feels to me like hitting my head against a brick wall, hoping to make it move.  The result?  A bad headache!

Without being insensitive to the pain of others, it seems to me that this pandemic offers us an opportunity to take our emotions in hand, evaluate our options and choose those that best serve us as well as our loved ones.  This is by no means an easy task.  It requires self-reflection, emotional self-control and inner direction.  As difficult as these skills may be to practice at first, in hindsight they may be a useful glimmer of this pandemic…?

~Zanne
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