In high school, Louise always got the highest math scores.  I believed she was a wiz-kid!  One day, she approached me, practically in tears, asking for my help with presenting her oral book report.  I had already presented mine and had earned an A+.  She was so worried that she would fall flat on her face.  I couldn’t believe it!  LOUISE?!?!  …worried about failing??  I was convinced that would never happen and told her so. I gave her a few pointers such as making eye contact, connecting with the kids and pretending she was delivering it to her best friend.  My certainty about her success seemed to bolster her.  It inched her confidence meter upward, for which she sincerely thanked me.  I couldn’t believe Louise had asked me for help!

Since I had been comparing my math grades with Louise’s and always coming up short, I assumed that she was better than I at everything.  It never occurred to me that something that came so naturally to me might be difficult for her.  Why couldn’t I see then that she had her strengths and I had mine?!  All I could see at the time was that she was great at Math and I wasn’t.

I guess, we’ve all done it at one time or another…compared ourselves to others. Hopefully, as we mature and grow, we realize the futility of it.  I’ve heard it said that comparing yourself with others is an act of violence you commit against yourself.  I couldn’t agree more.  Whenever I’ve done it, I’ve always come up on the short end of the stick.  Why is that?? 

First of all, I tended to look at what I perceived as someone else’s entire package, all their strengths and weaknesses.  However, I was really only seeing their surface.  Then I took into consideration “my” package, all my strengths and weaknesses, including everything below the surface.  Because I know myself better than anyone else does, I am privy to my innermost failings.  I tended to compare those failings to other people’s strengths.  That was like starting a race multiple laps behind! Comparing myself in this way made me blind to my own gifts.

I discovered long ago that I am second-rate at being someone else, but no one can beat me at being me.  So now, instead of comparing myself to others, I just work at becoming the best version of myself.  After all, isn’t that what I’m really after?!

~Zanne
InSearchOfAuthenticity.com
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