As an adult looking back over my childhood years, I’m able to evaluate them with perspective. Back then, I thought we had the necessities…everything we needed but not everything we wanted. There were no funds for baton-twirling, ballet, or figure-skating lessons. We went to the movies approximately twice during my entire childhood. On the rare occasions when we went out to eat, my sister, brother and I knew that we were to order the least expensive item on the menu, usually a hot dog. Because it was such a treat, we didn’t much mind.
Each year, though, my father would take his vacation paycheck and we’d hit the road. It was often to places he had heard of from the men he worked with…a rock quarry in Vermont or the National Park in coastal Bar Harbor, Maine. They weren’t expensive vacations, mind you, but you’d never have known that based on our level of excitement. To save money where they could, we’d stop at roadside picnic areas and enjoy the sandwiches Mom had prepared. Then we’d stay at roadside motels where the five of us, six when my grandfather came along, would cram into one room. Laying sheets on the floor and unrolling our sleeping bags over it was an adventure for us three children. Those nights were exciting, fun and filled with giggles. The best part of these vacations was that Dad was more rested and had time to play with us, whether it be pass, softball, or boardgames. What fun!
While I had a notion of it in my youth, I understand even more clearly now, that our blessings outweighed our lack. The things that cost nothing yet are priceless, we had aplenty. Love was the most abundant blessing we experienced. First, we knew beyond any doubt that our parents loved one another. We saw it in the way they looked at each other, the little considerations they showed one another, how they put each other’s needs front and center, and most of all how they handled disagreements… with such civility and restraint. There was never any doubt in our minds that they would always be there for each other. The thought of playing one against the other for personal favors was out of the question! They were a rock-solid team.
I’ve heard it said that the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. The truth of that statement was made clear to us over and over again. The security that we derived from knowing our parents’ bond was secure certainly gave us children a strong foundation to stand and grow on.
Having just what we needed and a little bit of what we wanted, helped us focus on the important things in life…relationships, a virtuous character, spirituality, and discerning real needs from wants.
On some level I understood that we didn’t have a lot because there were so many things we couldn’t have or do. My first new dress came at the beginning of my high school freshman year. But on another level, I didn’t lack for anything. I felt supported, cared for, and I not only knew my parents would always love and accept me, but that they were proud of me. I believe that these are the greatest gifts children can ever receive.
As youngsters, we thought we didn’t have everything we wanted, as adults, we realize that we had so very much more...
~Zanne
InSearchOfAuthenticity.com
© 2021 Zanne
In Search of Authenticity 
Neighbors and I had a conversation just this week about the very same subject. We concluded that today’s kids, having so much, are at a disadvantage. I got a new (to me) dress each Easter & Christmas. School clothes bought in August lasted the entire school year. Since my birthday falls in August, purchases served double-duty. Hand-me-downs were welcomed as tho they were brand new. I never
felt like we didn’t have enough. It was just the way things were then.
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I agree, Dianne. There’s a certain depth that comes with not having everything you want. There’s a sense of prioritizing what’s most important in the scheme of things. I wonder if that gets diluted as we have more means to fulfill our every want…?? I, too, have no regrets with the philosophy I was raised with.
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What an amazing gift you give me in this post. The writing inspires me to think about and be grateful for my parents’
love for one another AND the love they lavished on me. My background is similar–few material things but much affection. Even those of us whose parents may have been unable to rise above their struggles will be reminded of others–family members, mentors, friends, whose love and care enabled them to realize that life is “so much more.”
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Terri, I LOVE the way you phrased “whose parents may have been unable to rise above their struggles.” That is such an understanding and compassionate way of looking at it! I happen to think that’s the BEST way, actually. I believe that, for the most part, each individual does the best they can given the circumstances they find themselves in. I pray that my children give me as much grace when they consider their upbringing. Thank you for your kindness and compassion, my friend!
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My parents used to waltz in the kitchen with me standing tightly between with my tippy- toes on my Dad’s feet.They were a happy young pair,listening to big band music,and my Mom always singing the “Hit Parade” songs in our home.
On payday,Dad would bring home a Golden Book of tales for me,and the latest Songsheet’ for Mom.
And a pack of cigarettes,for the week.
Hi humour and ability to make Mom and I laugh,made every day’s homecoming,an event…
“Daddy’s home Karen”….and we would both be all over him….
Thanks Suzanne for reminding me of what formed me.your memories,were so well studied in retrospect,and gave we readers immense solace.
Karen
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What a wonderful picture-memory, Karen! I can feel the joy you must have experienced in those moments of dancing on your Daddy’s feet. What a happy homecoming your Dad got every day! Thank you for sharing this as it reminded me of my own childhood memories of when my Dad came home from work. I now remember it so well…my Mother would go comb her hair and apply lipstick and call out to we three children, “Daddy’s home!” and we’d all rush to jump in his arms. With the three of us hanging off of him, he would bend over and kiss Mom. Very sweet memories! Thank you Karen!
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What an idyllic and lovely time… it seems like that was a thousand years ago compared to the cacophony of today’s teenage world. We were so fortunate.
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I agree Patty! We were extremely fortunate!
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