There are days when I just don’t feel like smiling.  This is one such day.  It stems from too much busyness and too little time in solitude, followed by a lack of energy or even the desire to make an effort.  This results in going through my day feeling emotionally neutral…not terribly happy, not really sad, just “meh.”  Left to my own devices when I’m in a state of ‘lack-of-awareness,’ I go about my day living in my head, on auto-pilot, barely noticing others as I pass them by.

Here’s the thing, though.  I’ve discovered that if I make the effort to pull up my level of awareness, (which is a big ask when I’m feeling this way,) I am able to take a deep breath and get centered.  I remind myself that even though I am a mere speck in all of humanity, I can turn my speck into a spark to light my little corner of the world.  I confront the resistant voice in my head that protests ‘but I don’t FEEL like it!’  I know better by now.  It’s exactly what I need to do to get myself going in the right direction again.  

Making small positive comments and smiling at others helps me  to reconnect with humanity.  It makes me feel like I’m doing my part.  I used to think that smiling at others as I passed them by was my gift to them, but today I am reminded that it’s equally a gift to myself.  Smiling not only radiates outward it also radiates inward.  It gets me out of my head and into my heart.  It helps me to focus on the good in my life, in others, and in this world.  I may not yet be in a state of joy, but that’s okay.  I know from past experience that it will come.  One step at a time, one day at a time, I will make my way back…   

~SuZanne
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